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Patience is a Virtue

"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time."- Leo Tolstoy

Today I received news that made my head spin and spit fire! It was the opposite of what I was expecting and frustrating as all get out! I wanted things my way, done as soon as possible, and I did not want to wait. As I steamed, I realized that things could always be worse. It may not be in the way I wanted, but at least things are still progressing the way the good Lord intended.

I interviewed with a medical mega-giant at the beginning of last month. I was told I had to take a certification in order to obtain the position but once I get the go ahead from the testing agency I was done and hired! Well, this was exciting but nerve racking news. In an instant, that day I failed the last nursing exam I ever took and all the emotions associated came flooding back. Could I actually pass? I haven't taken a test since, not one that actually mattered anyway. With a lot of angst and support from Brad, I started to study again and submitted my application for eligibility to test. Let me tell you how stressed clicking that submit button made me! Can I do this again? My goals are huge, I plan to have a career as a certified registered nurse anesthetist  or CRNA. Will my nerves and past keep me from achieving my goals in order to become that?

All this made me lose some motivation and it became noticeable, not that I realized however. The good thing about having a support system or even just a support person is they have the courage and love for you to tell you things that you don't want to hear but need to face. After getting the fire re-lit inside of me, I was ready to get this eligibility and test! Friday afternoon nearly around 4pm, the email I had been waiting arrived! I could sit for the exam! Instantly, I forwarded it to the interviewer but bummed to realize it was near quitting time the day before a 3-day weekend. I was on pins and needles waiting for the email I received this morning. Even though I have the job, I can't start until I take and pass the exam. Boo! Not what I wanted! But, I'll trudge on!
 I want this job so badly, I'll be in the field I have so much passion for and want a career in. This will not be the last hurdle or the last time I get so angry I turn red. But the key to all this is to learn and continue on. I could have been told to go fly a kite, to forget the position and they've gone with someone more qualified. I was not and all this will make me appreciate the position and stepping stone even more. This all became clear after gym therapy; after getting focused and taking my agitation out on the weights. I guess I've been a rambling woman but what it all boils down to is that even though it didn't go as I saw fit, it doesn't have to shut me down. Granted, diabetes took a ton of my confidence away and made me learn a ton of things the hard way but  God gave me a person who helped me rebuild it all. Believe it or not, He has a plan for me and He's put me through tests prior to this that were harder and I prevailed. Which is what I plan to do with this. Stay tuned, it is just getting interesting!

..xobb

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