Skip to main content

Patience is a Virtue

"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time."- Leo Tolstoy

Today I received news that made my head spin and spit fire! It was the opposite of what I was expecting and frustrating as all get out! I wanted things my way, done as soon as possible, and I did not want to wait. As I steamed, I realized that things could always be worse. It may not be in the way I wanted, but at least things are still progressing the way the good Lord intended.

I interviewed with a medical mega-giant at the beginning of last month. I was told I had to take a certification in order to obtain the position but once I get the go ahead from the testing agency I was done and hired! Well, this was exciting but nerve racking news. In an instant, that day I failed the last nursing exam I ever took and all the emotions associated came flooding back. Could I actually pass? I haven't taken a test since, not one that actually mattered anyway. With a lot of angst and support from Brad, I started to study again and submitted my application for eligibility to test. Let me tell you how stressed clicking that submit button made me! Can I do this again? My goals are huge, I plan to have a career as a certified registered nurse anesthetist  or CRNA. Will my nerves and past keep me from achieving my goals in order to become that?

All this made me lose some motivation and it became noticeable, not that I realized however. The good thing about having a support system or even just a support person is they have the courage and love for you to tell you things that you don't want to hear but need to face. After getting the fire re-lit inside of me, I was ready to get this eligibility and test! Friday afternoon nearly around 4pm, the email I had been waiting arrived! I could sit for the exam! Instantly, I forwarded it to the interviewer but bummed to realize it was near quitting time the day before a 3-day weekend. I was on pins and needles waiting for the email I received this morning. Even though I have the job, I can't start until I take and pass the exam. Boo! Not what I wanted! But, I'll trudge on!
 I want this job so badly, I'll be in the field I have so much passion for and want a career in. This will not be the last hurdle or the last time I get so angry I turn red. But the key to all this is to learn and continue on. I could have been told to go fly a kite, to forget the position and they've gone with someone more qualified. I was not and all this will make me appreciate the position and stepping stone even more. This all became clear after gym therapy; after getting focused and taking my agitation out on the weights. I guess I've been a rambling woman but what it all boils down to is that even though it didn't go as I saw fit, it doesn't have to shut me down. Granted, diabetes took a ton of my confidence away and made me learn a ton of things the hard way but  God gave me a person who helped me rebuild it all. Believe it or not, He has a plan for me and He's put me through tests prior to this that were harder and I prevailed. Which is what I plan to do with this. Stay tuned, it is just getting interesting!

..xobb

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tropic Like it's Hot!

Oh Florida summers... Goodness, is it hot?! Growing up in Fort Myers, you lived for Disney Original Movie marathons, ice cream, pool day and that rainy 3pm nap. That was life for us! After living in Central Florida for a little bit, I will say there is no better cure my Summer woes except for being in Fort Myers. Don't get me wrong, Mt Dora was beautiful but there is just something about my hometown! This week was the second at the new dermatology job, I'm slowly but surely learning the lingo. I have been in the medical field 10 years, but this specialty has a language all it's own! It's hard to keep your confidence, this position is more hands on involving anesthesia and sutures, but I'll get there! I will say though, I truly despise being the "new girl". Everyone asks the same question, patients and peers are a tad nervous since you're a stranger and all they have to go off of for your experience is your word. It's intimidating but adds to

Slap on a Little Lipstick and Pull Yourself Together!

It's hump day!  Halfway to the weekend, which usually means nothing to me since I work at a restaurant in a massive theme park! However, this weekend I have one of my closest friends coming to visit and I couldn't be more excited!! She was behind the motivation for me to start this blog, so yall be thankful! Heading into work, I wanted to post just a little something! First off, this blog is means more to me than just an outlet to express myself. It is becoming a way of releasing confidence that I've built up within myself in the last few years. I used to be the girl who threw on whatever slightly matched and didn't give a second glance at my roots or makeup! If I put eyeliner on, I would stun my beau at the time! Since then, I've grown to love myself and learn what makes me feel beautiful, now I want to share that knowledge! Quite wise, haha that's literally laughable! But if some person is taking time out of their day to read this, then I must be

I'm Made of Glitter, Water, and Anxiety

So over the last few years I have struggled with admitting and treating my own personal demon of anxiety. I have many friends who have a similar struggle and agree that prior to becoming it's prey, we thought anxiety was a total joke. I mean, when I would witness an anxiety attack I would just think, 'come on, pull it together sister!'. But now that I tend to deal with it on the daily, it is a very real monster. To have your own brain betray you as such is a difficult thing to grasp. Going from a perfectly rational person to trying to prevent anything and everything that could possibly happen, you look at yourself and think 'jeez! What a nutcase!'. Treating my anxiety wasn't an easy task, especially since I began treating mine at the end of a relationship and while being completely alone. It was a daily struggle and I really didn't feel like anyone would understand without being judgemental. I also used substances as my release, we all know I love my wine.