"Some days, I can conquer the world. Other days, it takes me three hours to convince myself to shower"- the perfect Pinterest quote!
This 27th year has been one of growth and reflection. I truly thought looking at 27 year-old people then that by the time I had reached this point that I would be an independent, sexy, confident woman with this spectacular job and a hardworking stud by my side! Some of this came true, but not much! I've got the stud, that's about it! That being said, I came into this year thinking that I knew who I was, where I was heading and that I had a great man to share it all with. One thing that people normally won't tell you is that when your relationship becomes committed and you're around the other person practically 24/7, they begin to see your flaws and, if you're as lucky as I am, they begin to help you become a better person. One thing that anyone who knows us will tell you is that when you meet the beau and I for the first time, we are night and day. B is super quiet, slightly intimidating and observational. I am outgoing, sassy and talking anyone's ear off. Once we get comfortable, those roles normally swap. I become quiet, laid-back, and hanging out where as babe does most of the conversation.
Bradley has taught me to relax and take it all in, to observe my surroundings, and to think before acting. Not so proudly, will I admit that I tend to spout out whatever is lingering in my brain, not a quality I want to carry through life. This being said, I am a much better person and still growing.
Today, I had a personal moment when a disagreement showed me that even if we can't see it, we may be seeking shameful things subconsciously. It takes someone who loves you to help you see this, and you won't want to face it at first but it will be an eye-opener once you do. For me, I have always cared deep down what people thought about me. I was an "ugly duckling" growing up and only recently learned how to be "girly" and feel confident, much of my confidence was learned in the gym and with the support of my beau. However, in our attention-hungry, social-medial- loving society, I too fell into the trap of quietly yearning for attention. I was NOT a happy camper when this all came into light. I hate seeing those girls post things and looking so desperate, was I really one of them? Well, not to the degree that a majority of Instagram sensations are, but I'm still guilty, I think we are all a little.
Our whole worth is measured by likes, comments, views and shares. Now that Facebook has "reactions", some people even wait for the "WOW" face. Although, I must say I do like the flowers from the "thankful" reaction. But, in reality, we are missing out on the actual measurement of our worth. Not to go too religious, but first off, we should look to Christ for our worth initially. That's how I was raised so I will always go back to those teachings.
Another thing that smacked me in the face was realizing that if you are seeking attention, whether you are actively looking or, like me, fell victim to swimming with the current is that you may cause some issues within your relationship. One thing I have fallen for after myself, is for my babe. He and I have conquered more in the year and a half together than most people do. Therefore, I saw that if I didn't refocus, I could cause more than desired problems with us. No thank you!
I have decided that I will keep my goals in mind and not concern myself with posting just to get the "likes". I have other things to keep me busy instead of spending countless hours scouring apps and "liking" posts. This involves breaking bad habits and learning the definition of good ones. Making it all a lifestyle change for the better!
I know this has become a rambling, self-exposing post but I felt the urge to unload my mind. It is time to refocus and re-evaluate! I feel that this blog is helpful for accountability and to look back on and see where I am, will be and later to look at how much I have grown. So, here are my goals for the next few months:
This 27th year has been one of growth and reflection. I truly thought looking at 27 year-old people then that by the time I had reached this point that I would be an independent, sexy, confident woman with this spectacular job and a hardworking stud by my side! Some of this came true, but not much! I've got the stud, that's about it! That being said, I came into this year thinking that I knew who I was, where I was heading and that I had a great man to share it all with. One thing that people normally won't tell you is that when your relationship becomes committed and you're around the other person practically 24/7, they begin to see your flaws and, if you're as lucky as I am, they begin to help you become a better person. One thing that anyone who knows us will tell you is that when you meet the beau and I for the first time, we are night and day. B is super quiet, slightly intimidating and observational. I am outgoing, sassy and talking anyone's ear off. Once we get comfortable, those roles normally swap. I become quiet, laid-back, and hanging out where as babe does most of the conversation.
Bradley has taught me to relax and take it all in, to observe my surroundings, and to think before acting. Not so proudly, will I admit that I tend to spout out whatever is lingering in my brain, not a quality I want to carry through life. This being said, I am a much better person and still growing.
Today, I had a personal moment when a disagreement showed me that even if we can't see it, we may be seeking shameful things subconsciously. It takes someone who loves you to help you see this, and you won't want to face it at first but it will be an eye-opener once you do. For me, I have always cared deep down what people thought about me. I was an "ugly duckling" growing up and only recently learned how to be "girly" and feel confident, much of my confidence was learned in the gym and with the support of my beau. However, in our attention-hungry, social-medial- loving society, I too fell into the trap of quietly yearning for attention. I was NOT a happy camper when this all came into light. I hate seeing those girls post things and looking so desperate, was I really one of them? Well, not to the degree that a majority of Instagram sensations are, but I'm still guilty, I think we are all a little.
Our whole worth is measured by likes, comments, views and shares. Now that Facebook has "reactions", some people even wait for the "WOW" face. Although, I must say I do like the flowers from the "thankful" reaction. But, in reality, we are missing out on the actual measurement of our worth. Not to go too religious, but first off, we should look to Christ for our worth initially. That's how I was raised so I will always go back to those teachings.
I have decided that I will keep my goals in mind and not concern myself with posting just to get the "likes". I have other things to keep me busy instead of spending countless hours scouring apps and "liking" posts. This involves breaking bad habits and learning the definition of good ones. Making it all a lifestyle change for the better!
- Continuing with my diet, increasing my personal bests at the gym and feeling more confident
- Focusing on my education and gaining finesse in my skills
- Spring cleaning our "junk" room (this is starting tomorrow!)
- Looking forward to possible career opportunities
- Becoming an overall better person by surrounding myself with positive people
..xobb
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