So over the last few years I have struggled with admitting and treating my own personal demon of anxiety. I have many friends who have a similar struggle and agree that prior to becoming it's prey, we thought anxiety was a total joke. I mean, when I would witness an anxiety attack I would just think, 'come on, pull it together sister!'. But now that I tend to deal with it on the daily, it is a very real monster.
To have your own brain betray you as such is a difficult thing to grasp. Going from a perfectly rational person to trying to prevent anything and everything that could possibly happen, you look at yourself and think 'jeez! What a nutcase!'. Treating my anxiety wasn't an easy task, especially since I began treating mine at the end of a relationship and while being completely alone. It was a daily struggle and I really didn't feel like anyone would understand without being judgemental. I also used substances as my release, we all know I love my wine. Luckily for me, in the recent, I have felt supported and gotten back to a more healthy routine of diet and exercise to eliminate the tension.
I am not writing this blip to gain sympathy but to let someone who is having a silent mind war that you aren't alone. I know that you are second guessing every decision, that you aren't sleeping, that you are combing through every single moment from the day and beating yourself up about it. That you REALLY wish you could turn off your brain. I've been there, I am still there, and I am hoping to one day leave. No, I'm not crazy. Yes, I function as a normal human being. With a little prayer, a ton of support, and some relaxation, I hope to one day say I used to struggle with anxiety. Til then, where's the Prozac? Lol. Kidding!
.. bb
To have your own brain betray you as such is a difficult thing to grasp. Going from a perfectly rational person to trying to prevent anything and everything that could possibly happen, you look at yourself and think 'jeez! What a nutcase!'. Treating my anxiety wasn't an easy task, especially since I began treating mine at the end of a relationship and while being completely alone. It was a daily struggle and I really didn't feel like anyone would understand without being judgemental. I also used substances as my release, we all know I love my wine. Luckily for me, in the recent, I have felt supported and gotten back to a more healthy routine of diet and exercise to eliminate the tension.
I am not writing this blip to gain sympathy but to let someone who is having a silent mind war that you aren't alone. I know that you are second guessing every decision, that you aren't sleeping, that you are combing through every single moment from the day and beating yourself up about it. That you REALLY wish you could turn off your brain. I've been there, I am still there, and I am hoping to one day leave. No, I'm not crazy. Yes, I function as a normal human being. With a little prayer, a ton of support, and some relaxation, I hope to one day say I used to struggle with anxiety. Til then, where's the Prozac? Lol. Kidding!
.. bb
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