Blonde, Sweat & Wine

So, I don't plan on actually posting this one to social media. This post is mainly just a self reflection and way to organize my thoughts. If it happens to help someone who stumbles upon it somehow, then that is faint and I'll leave it to that. I guess these thoughts came about within the last few weeks. I had been out of insulin since October and the symptoms of diabetes had really gotten to me. Losing weight, agitation,severe muscle weakness, basically having an utter meltdown. I didn't want to bother anyone with it so I made a doctors appointment & figured I'd suck it up until then. Well, this would have worked had the diabetes not made me a raging bitch. I feel so guilty looking back and knowing how I had been acting, definitely was not healthy or fair to those around me. I finally broke down to Michael and explained why I'd been such a crazy person. Bless his soul, he definitely deserved a medal! Now that I am out of the diabetes fog, I can see what a c...

This is the year of...wait for it....brace yourselves...the big 3-0! Ironically, I'm actually looking forward to it. My twenties were documented well through social media, highlighted with Timehop reminding me of late nights and the best vacations of my life thus far. I'm really for change and to mature in my thirties, I have goals that I thought would have been achieved in my twenties but it's not my plan. Either way, I'm brace and ready for everything 30 had in store! Now, I know it will be quite some time before I actually turn 30 but here are a moments that are my favorite! I have so many goals that I hope to achieve in 2018. I want to become more independent, more self reliant. I want to be more positive and travel more. The list goes one, but for now, I want to learn from who I have been for the last 29 years and become a better, more successful me!

Hello after a slight hiatus of blogging! This holiday season treated us very nicely for our first Christmas together! We were all spoiled & enjoyed time off together. But as usual, all good thing must come to an end and reality is back in full force! On Tuesday I started back to full time nursing schoo, it's been a rocky transition but for the best. In the first quarter (my school is 11 week quarters with two weeks of break in between), I have only one physical class and lab with two others online. Thankfully with this semi-light schedule I can still work full time at the dermatologist office. I was also working at a country club but it was not working out and I was getting overwhelmed already so I stepped down from that responsibility. In the new year, I don't really have some huge goal or wanting something drastic. I really just want to get healthy and focus on accomplishing this goal. It has been 5 years in the making and I'm ready to achieve it! Today a few th...

Not sure why it is, maybe it's anxiety or metabolism, but the older I get the more I am effected by insomnia. A random noise can wake me up at 3am and bam! Up for the day! Most frustrating thing ever! However, since I am up I might as well blog a little update y'all on my life these days! Not that you're actually following but hey, we're all a little curious sometimes, lol! Since my last post regarding my education, I have been approved to re-enroll into the nursing program I used to attend. The program has changed deans, curriculum, and instructors but has the same great advisors who motivated me to come back and achieve my goals! So that is pretty exciting! I am starting in January; with the said, I am beginning to get a little nervous. Granted, it has been 4 long years since that whole ordeal and I have matured a ton! But still, when you are traumatized by such a thing it can be hard to attempt it again! My fears aren't that I won't know what I'm do...

So over the last few years I have struggled with admitting and treating my own personal demon of anxiety. I have many friends who have a similar struggle and agree that prior to becoming it's prey, we thought anxiety was a total joke. I mean, when I would witness an anxiety attack I would just think, 'come on, pull it together sister!'. But now that I tend to deal with it on the daily, it is a very real monster. To have your own brain betray you as such is a difficult thing to grasp. Going from a perfectly rational person to trying to prevent anything and everything that could possibly happen, you look at yourself and think 'jeez! What a nutcase!'. Treating my anxiety wasn't an easy task, especially since I began treating mine at the end of a relationship and while being completely alone. It was a daily struggle and I really didn't feel like anyone would understand without being judgemental. I also used substances as my release, we all know I love my wine....

So over the last few years I have struggled with admitting and treating my own personal demon of anxiety. I have many friends who have a similar struggle and agree that prior to becoming it's prey, we thought anxiety was a total joke. I mean, when I would witness an anxiety attack I would just think, 'come on, pull it together sister!'. But now that I tend to deal with it on the daily, it is a very real monster. To have your own brain betray you as such is a difficult thing to grasp. Going from a perfectly rational person to trying to prevent anything and everything that could possibly happen, you look at yourself and think 'jeez! What a nutcase!'. Treating my anxiety wasn't an easy task, especially since I began treating mine at the end of a relationship and while being completely alone. It was a daily struggle and I really didn't feel like anyone would understand without being judgemental. I also used substances as my release, we all know I love my wine....

You've all read my story on my dream career and how my educational path didn't go quite the way I wanted it to 4 years ago. Well, as a very stubborn and strong headed woman, I am sick and tired of the almost. As of current, I work as a medical assistant, not a nurse, for a dermatology office. This isn't my dream job and definitely not what I pictured four years ago while I was starting the adult 2 section of nursing school. I had just gotten out of the hospital a few days prior and I was determined to continue on my way to my dream career. I guess what did not know at the time was that I am not in control of my life or the plans for my life. Well that was then and this is now, as I am taking the appropriate steps on this new educational path I am creating for myself. I was interested a local LPN program recently thinking the best way to get to my goal of becoming an RN would be through bridging to the university here. One mishap after another and a hurricane (thanks Ir...