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Oh Insomnia, How I Loathe Thee

Not sure why it is, maybe it's anxiety or metabolism, but the older I get the more I am effected by insomnia. A random noise can wake me up at 3am and bam! Up for the day! Most frustrating thing ever!

However, since I am up I might as well blog a little update y'all on my life these days! Not that you're actually following but hey, we're all a little curious sometimes, lol!

Since my last post regarding my education, I have been approved to re-enroll into the nursing program I used to attend. The program has changed deans, curriculum, and instructors but has the same great advisors who motivated me to come back and achieve my goals! So that is pretty exciting! I am starting in January; with the said, I am beginning to get a little nervous. Granted, it has been 4 long years since that whole ordeal and I have matured a ton! But still, when you are traumatized by such a thing it can be hard to attempt it again!

My fears aren't that I won't know what I'm doing. Hell, I have gained even more experience since that point in my life and learned so much more about the field that seems to keep pulling me back in. I tell ya, I tried so hard to do ANYTHING else! However, the health care field evidently needs me and must be what the good Lord put me on this blessed earth to do! But seriously, I feel like as much and as hard as I tried to attempt real estate, business, or anything else, I gravitated right back to nursing.

That being said, my anxiousness purely comes from how badly I want to achieve this goal and put this failure behind me for good! I know once I am back into classes and clinicals, it will all click and be easy, I hope so anyway.

My mom always told me I need to slow down and take it one step at a time. I was always that kid with that grand scheme for my educational plan. It always failed because I was looking too far ahead. Sure, it would be great to start looking into bachelor's programs and thinking about specialities. That's my usual go to. Achieve one small, teeny step, then fly toward the next. Impatience at its best! But this time, my life is completely different. I'm not living with my parents, single, without a care I'm the world, healthy (that I thought) and going to a girls night every night at the country bar. I am a live-in girlfriend, with a responsible lieutenant boyfriend, a sweet 9 year old boy who looks up to us, with responsibilities and a bedtime. I want them to be proud! I want me to be proud.

So I guess I've answered my own insomnia question, I'm thinking and over analyzing... Surprised? Not so much! I'm praying and trusting that this is the final step in this ginormous life lesson I've been on since my diagnosis. But hey, not my plan right? It's God's.

Hope yall have a happy Tuesday! Time for coffee and some breakfast!

..bb

posted from Bloggeroid

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