Skip to main content

I'm Tired AF

Evidently if you were born between 1981 & 1996, you're a millennial so I figured I would used the "AF" instead of swearing.

Do you ever feel like you're just tired of just about everything? Well, that is me the past couple weeks! Just tired of being exhausted with the two consecutive low readings this week between 1 and 4am. Tired of stressing about finances, future & the other F word. Just wanting and needing a break before hitting the ceiling?? Well, welcome to my world this MONTH!

Last week, I had one of those good cries. One of those turn the music up, run the bath, wine induced, good Lord save me cries. Where you feel sorry for yourself, want to change everything and move out of the country to your own island moments. This is something most women do on a random basis and, to be honest, it is extremely healthy. I mentioned the "Pancreas Pals" podcast last post and it has truly helped me so much mentally.
https://pancreaspals.com/category/podcast/
When I was first diagnosed, I felt extremely lost. I was in nursing school, had just failed a semester, and wanted to jump in feet first into recooping. That completely backfired and I so badly wanted to remain "normal". Fast forward 5 years and 11 months, I have finally accepted this disease and all that comes with it. I got the call that my insulin pump was approved by my insurance, I was elated then I felt nervous. This is REAL!! I am getting an insulin pump!! So as the millennial that  I apparently am, I start looking up hashtags on Instagram, trying to see how people deal with this whole giant change. Luckily, I see that it helps. Just like with my CMG, it just works out. Instead of injections 5 times a day, something will keep my Dexcom company!!
Arm placement lasted all of 3 days
Back to this fabulous podcast that I have, they just finished up their most recent season when I found them so I started catching up. One episode in particular was about toxic positivity. Which is basically just gracefully avoiding facing the negatives in life. For example, they used the popular phrase "good vibes only" in the episode. I can relate to this so much!! There is negativity in life, it happens!! People have to deal with those negatives and come out stronger having learned how to survive such traumatic, stress situations. I use this in my current situation: a thirty-something, Florida girl who loves the water and outdoors and will soon don not just one but two devices on her body. After 30 years, that's a tough steak to chew!! Just sayin!! But instead of sweeping all the negative junk under the rug and being a "classic avoider" as my BIL would say, I grabbing the bull by the horns and saying alright diabetes, let's fight!! I don't want to be sick, have people do the sympathy head tilt, and I don't want to keep guessing the carb counts and insulin injections. I just want to feel better.

In all this, I guess the bottom line is acceptance. Accepting that seasons change, people and situations also changes and will continue to do so. You aren't going to keep the same friends, the same job, or the same situation. Life is about growth and learning, experiences and challenges. I am ready to move toward the next chapter of living with this disease! Below are some randoms that I have been through in the last month with the new addition!
Had an annoying night of lows to sip a morning OJ and sky rocket
A diabetic 24 hours


Tomorrow is Wednesday, hoping hump day will bring a positive vibe to the week! Work has been tired, diabetes has been tired, just Allie is tired. No, that's not proper English but I bet you felt that! Hope everyone has a safe and relaxing weekend!!!

..the diabetic blonde




Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thirty-Onederful!

Today I turned 31, it was a different birthday vibe than I usually have. Typically, I get really into my plans and can't wait for the day to come. Maybe it is because our plans changed drastically suddenly or because of the imminent threat of the hurricane looming in the back of my mind. But today ended up much better than originally anticipated! Of course, I needed the birthday Snapchat filter! Our plans were to go to Croom which is a motocross park ran by the state. The property used to be phosphate mines in Brooksville, it has since been used for motocross celebs and locals for enjoyment. Last minute, literally 5 hours before we were supposed to head north, the boyfriend tells me that due to the pain in the rump hurricane barreling towards the east coast they are closing the park. Talk about blonde emoji facepalm, ugh!! Now, I do not ride a dirt bike, heck I barely have the coordination to walk and chew gum at the same time. But I enjoy disconnecting, hiking, and relaxin...
Post a Comment
Read more

We Don't Talk About That...

Mental health has never been a "hot topic" or a common dinner conversation, it is usually dusted under the rug and left to fester til another day. Honestly, I'm writing this for my own mental health, rather my sanity. Since this virus took over our lives, being forced to live completely out of the norm has made mental health become a little bit more of a subject but not by much. Being bored and forced to be in the same house almost 24/7 can cause you to focus on things you wouldn't normally think about. This is also true for myself. Up until now, I haven't really discussed with anyone but close friends and family what I have struggled with for a long time. To me, you talk about it and everyone will think you're looney. Well, I'm over it and tired of hiding it so here goes! When I lived in Orlando, I had extremely high anxiety for the first time. I was basically alone full time miles away from my hometown. I tried so desperately to avoid facing what I...
Post a Comment
Read more

Hey There 2020!

Oh 2019, what a year! I have to admit, this year taught me a ton, left me speechless at times (I know, stunning right?!), and with some gains as well as losses! I learned how to love myself and see who I am alone, I have ended relationships that were overdue to be ended, and I became a stronger coach with Beachbody! I gained a booty thanks to my amazing workout program and learned how to eat properly! 2019 gave me the strength I needed to end a toxic relationship that was disguised as something much different. The year had it's ups and downs, as does every year, but this one in particular helped me learn what I like and where my future goals lie. I experienced things I thought I wanted and realized where I am heading is exactly where I need to be. Now that that's over, reminiscing can be fun but I am ready for a new chapter! Oh 2020, do I have something planned for you! I am entering this year on a very different foot, starting today with organizing my goals and strate...
Post a Comment
Read more