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I'm Tired AF

Evidently if you were born between 1981 & 1996, you're a millennial so I figured I would used the "AF" instead of swearing.

Do you ever feel like you're just tired of just about everything? Well, that is me the past couple weeks! Just tired of being exhausted with the two consecutive low readings this week between 1 and 4am. Tired of stressing about finances, future & the other F word. Just wanting and needing a break before hitting the ceiling?? Well, welcome to my world this MONTH!

Last week, I had one of those good cries. One of those turn the music up, run the bath, wine induced, good Lord save me cries. Where you feel sorry for yourself, want to change everything and move out of the country to your own island moments. This is something most women do on a random basis and, to be honest, it is extremely healthy. I mentioned the "Pancreas Pals" podcast last post and it has truly helped me so much mentally.
https://pancreaspals.com/category/podcast/
When I was first diagnosed, I felt extremely lost. I was in nursing school, had just failed a semester, and wanted to jump in feet first into recooping. That completely backfired and I so badly wanted to remain "normal". Fast forward 5 years and 11 months, I have finally accepted this disease and all that comes with it. I got the call that my insulin pump was approved by my insurance, I was elated then I felt nervous. This is REAL!! I am getting an insulin pump!! So as the millennial that  I apparently am, I start looking up hashtags on Instagram, trying to see how people deal with this whole giant change. Luckily, I see that it helps. Just like with my CMG, it just works out. Instead of injections 5 times a day, something will keep my Dexcom company!!
Arm placement lasted all of 3 days
Back to this fabulous podcast that I have, they just finished up their most recent season when I found them so I started catching up. One episode in particular was about toxic positivity. Which is basically just gracefully avoiding facing the negatives in life. For example, they used the popular phrase "good vibes only" in the episode. I can relate to this so much!! There is negativity in life, it happens!! People have to deal with those negatives and come out stronger having learned how to survive such traumatic, stress situations. I use this in my current situation: a thirty-something, Florida girl who loves the water and outdoors and will soon don not just one but two devices on her body. After 30 years, that's a tough steak to chew!! Just sayin!! But instead of sweeping all the negative junk under the rug and being a "classic avoider" as my BIL would say, I grabbing the bull by the horns and saying alright diabetes, let's fight!! I don't want to be sick, have people do the sympathy head tilt, and I don't want to keep guessing the carb counts and insulin injections. I just want to feel better.

In all this, I guess the bottom line is acceptance. Accepting that seasons change, people and situations also changes and will continue to do so. You aren't going to keep the same friends, the same job, or the same situation. Life is about growth and learning, experiences and challenges. I am ready to move toward the next chapter of living with this disease! Below are some randoms that I have been through in the last month with the new addition!
Had an annoying night of lows to sip a morning OJ and sky rocket
A diabetic 24 hours


Tomorrow is Wednesday, hoping hump day will bring a positive vibe to the week! Work has been tired, diabetes has been tired, just Allie is tired. No, that's not proper English but I bet you felt that! Hope everyone has a safe and relaxing weekend!!!

..the diabetic blonde




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