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Who Timing is it Anyway?

One thing I have a learned in my first 20-something years is that I have no control over the timing of my life events.
At 25, I was carefree, in nursing school, single and having the time of my life with my best friends. Two weeks later on the night of my mom's birthday, I was hit with the reality mack truck. I was diagnosed with type one diabetes, 4 months after my younger brother had the same diagnosis. I was determined to jump back into life despite a terminal but manageable life sentence. After a week long hospitalization and a total life change, I tried to fall back into the routine and failed miserably. After a kidney infection and more bad news, I failed and withdrew from nursing school. I was heartbroken.

I was angry, I just wanted a "normal" life. I saw my sister marry her high school sweetheart and have the most beautiful family. I saw my best friends get engaged and blissfully fall into matrimony. Friends graduate and have successful careers. I was envious, when was it going to be my turn! Of course, I knew every person had their own timeline but I wanted my happy ending dammit!

The ones closest to you will have the advice on your timing. Stay single, go back to school, go into a different career; things they desired but a place they'd never been before. Yes, I understand, it is out of my control (which is not something I like in the slightest) but I was determined to make my own happy ending. This obviously didn't work out in my favor. As much as I understand what people want for me and how they would like my story to go, they have about as much control as I do. This being said, I have decided to go with my gut and my heart. Sometimes we may upset those who think they know better but only you yourself know what your desires are. My desire is to be happy and never compromise my goal for another being. In my last post, I explained how patient I am but I am also a hopeless romantic who believes in a happy ending.

This being said, my heart found a sweet Tennessee Volunteer (gross!) while line dancing at my favorite local country bar. As much as we've both tried, life never lined up. After being single for a little while, fate and social media worked it's magic and we got a third chance. I am very happy and looking forward to where ever this chapter will lead me. My heart and gut are telling me to take a risk and the joy coming from this decision gives me butterflies daily.
So it may not be what someone else, an outsider, wants from my life but I'm trusting and following my heart for once. It's spontaneous, maybe even a little irresponsible but I'm soaking up every moment because you only get one life.
..xobb

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