Blonde, Sweat & Wine

Not sure why it is, maybe it's anxiety or metabolism, but the older I get the more I am effected by insomnia. A random noise can wake me up at 3am and bam! Up for the day! Most frustrating thing ever! However, since I am up I might as well blog a little update y'all on my life these days! Not that you're actually following but hey, we're all a little curious sometimes, lol! Since my last post regarding my education, I have been approved to re-enroll into the nursing program I used to attend. The program has changed deans, curriculum, and instructors but has the same great advisors who motivated me to come back and achieve my goals! So that is pretty exciting! I am starting in January; with the said, I am beginning to get a little nervous. Granted, it has been 4 long years since that whole ordeal and I have matured a ton! But still, when you are traumatized by such a thing it can be hard to attempt it again! My fears aren't that I won't know what I'm do...

So over the last few years I have struggled with admitting and treating my own personal demon of anxiety. I have many friends who have a similar struggle and agree that prior to becoming it's prey, we thought anxiety was a total joke. I mean, when I would witness an anxiety attack I would just think, 'come on, pull it together sister!'. But now that I tend to deal with it on the daily, it is a very real monster. To have your own brain betray you as such is a difficult thing to grasp. Going from a perfectly rational person to trying to prevent anything and everything that could possibly happen, you look at yourself and think 'jeez! What a nutcase!'. Treating my anxiety wasn't an easy task, especially since I began treating mine at the end of a relationship and while being completely alone. It was a daily struggle and I really didn't feel like anyone would understand without being judgemental. I also used substances as my release, we all know I love my wine....

So over the last few years I have struggled with admitting and treating my own personal demon of anxiety. I have many friends who have a similar struggle and agree that prior to becoming it's prey, we thought anxiety was a total joke. I mean, when I would witness an anxiety attack I would just think, 'come on, pull it together sister!'. But now that I tend to deal with it on the daily, it is a very real monster. To have your own brain betray you as such is a difficult thing to grasp. Going from a perfectly rational person to trying to prevent anything and everything that could possibly happen, you look at yourself and think 'jeez! What a nutcase!'. Treating my anxiety wasn't an easy task, especially since I began treating mine at the end of a relationship and while being completely alone. It was a daily struggle and I really didn't feel like anyone would understand without being judgemental. I also used substances as my release, we all know I love my wine....

You've all read my story on my dream career and how my educational path didn't go quite the way I wanted it to 4 years ago. Well, as a very stubborn and strong headed woman, I am sick and tired of the almost. As of current, I work as a medical assistant, not a nurse, for a dermatology office. This isn't my dream job and definitely not what I pictured four years ago while I was starting the adult 2 section of nursing school. I had just gotten out of the hospital a few days prior and I was determined to continue on my way to my dream career. I guess what did not know at the time was that I am not in control of my life or the plans for my life. Well that was then and this is now, as I am taking the appropriate steps on this new educational path I am creating for myself. I was interested a local LPN program recently thinking the best way to get to my goal of becoming an RN would be through bridging to the university here. One mishap after another and a hurricane (thanks Ir...